Letting Go To Allow For More
Over the past month, there has been a reoccurring theme in my discussions with clients: how do we determine what is a priority and what makes it on our list of things to do. If we try to do all the things all the time, it feels like nothing gets done and our to do list grows by the minute. When I find myself trying to push 25 things forward, I feel overwhelmed, and nothing gets done. I am guessing some of you can relate.
Over the last 12 months we’d spent much of our time planning for our wedding. At the beginning of the planning process, we got very clear on how we wanted our wedding to feel, what curated that feeling, and what was a priority to us. One of the most important things to us was being able to be present and intentional with each other, with friends, and with family on the wedding day. We wanted to be able to move through the weekend with grace and ease. There were so many times I had to let go of perfection and expectations throughout the planning process to stay true to this intention. The week before the wedding I really had to hold my feet to the fire. I really had to let go of control and things that were moving me further away from the feelings of grace and ease that I wanted. I had a million things I wanted to get done for clients and get to all of you, but something had to give because there was no chance I was going to do it all and feel present and at ease as I entered the week of our wedding. So, I pushed off the less urgent things on my work to do list, wrapped up the work week and moved full steam ahead into wedding week.
But the lesson was not over yet. It’s funny how in life we get so many opportunities to learn a lesson until we finally get it. During the wedding week, yet another chance to practice. I craved a wedding experience where I felt like I could be present and at ease. I didn’t want to feel on edge, reactive, and short fused. I didn’t want to be flying off the handle, talking rudely to people, and snapping at people that I love. I know I am not alone here, with feeling like you have an idea of how you want things to go, so you buckle down and try to control things to make sure it goes the way you want. In that process your plate feels too full and before you know it, you’re snapping at your family. This was the last thing that I wanted. I wanted the wedding weekend to unfold in such a way that I could be highly present for the experience. The night before the wedding I found myself saying “this is so much work and if this isn’t the most fun I’ve ever had I am going to be so mad that someone didn’t warn me that the benefit was not going to out-weigh the cost of pulling this all off.” I had such a tight grip on the things I knew were important to me. I knew if I held such a tight grip on things, I was not only going to miss the opportunity to feel present and at ease, but I would miss the opportunity for the magic that this day could hold if I would just let go. So, I did just that, and the day unfolded into more than I could have ever imagined. I was able to be present and intentional for the whole day. I felt truly connected to people and like a guest at my own wedding. The lesson truly was that by letting go of control and what I thought I wanted, it made space for more. It made space for an experience much greater than I could have imagined.
I want to challenge you with this question:
Where could I let go of control to allow room for more of what I want?